As Told By Leah
by s.marie11
Summary: This is the story of Sam and Leah, obviously from Leah's perspective. How did their romance begin? How was Leah affected when they were torn apart? The whole Emily-Sam-Leah triangle looks a lot different when viewed from Leah's eyes.
1. Prologue

As Told By Leah

Prologue – Heartbreak

It's hard to have your heart slashed apart by the one person you trust more than anyone else in the world. First is the pain of being abandoned – of being _unwanted. _Then the thoughts come whirling through your mind, millions of ridiculous ideas that might help to change his mind and get him back to you. The worst part is when you realize that nothing can bring him back, no matter what you do, because your heartbreak is only one of the many changes that resulted from forces entirely outside control.

I'm talking about Sam, of course. My past with him isn't exactly a secret. Neither is my present, for that matter. It's amazing how quickly a situation can change from one day to the next. For me it went from "I will always love you" to "I'm sorry, if there was any way to change things I would, but I can't fight who I am – we can't be together anymore." If he thinks that dealing with me is a burden, imagine how it must seem to me; I saw how suddenly the whole purpose of his existence shifted, how easily forgotten I was. And though I may just be a footnote in the story of his life, if truth be told he still _is_ my life. No matter how hard I try to repress my feelings and move on, or stop wishing for him, I haven't been able to let go of him. I don't know if I ever will.

Back when vampires were nothing more than a myth, I was happy. Werewolves were only a legend in La Push, and the suggestion that Sam Uley might one day acquire the ability to turn into a giant dog in order to live out his duty hunting bloodsuckers might only seem plausible to someone who'd taken a shitload of acid. We were in love.

To someone who hasn't actually been around to witness the whole ordeal, I usually give off the impression of the narcissistic possessive bitch who is pissed because her boyfriend was taken away by another girl. Sometimes that's not just an impression, it's who I am. Nobody seems to understand that I don't want to be that way. I can't help that Sam wasn't just a high school crush, and that I deeply cared about him – I can't help that I am irrevocably in love with him.


	2. Chapter 1

**This is my first story, kind of an experiment, but I wanted to write the first couple chapters before giving up on it... I haven't seen any other stories like this out there, I was trying to find a topic that hasn't been done already, but if it has then I might try to find a new subject... I'm hoping for some reviews, and if you like it, then I'll continue... Let me know what you think!  
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One – Friend or Foe?

My freshman year of high school was about two months underway when Sam and I were forced to talk to each other at a party my parents had for some of their Quileute friends. I'd known him for my whole life, only because our parents were close. Back before I can remember, he and I must have played together at similar gatherings. At this particular time, though, I hadn't talked to him for years, and I was only familiar with him as a junior who went to the same school as me.

I was sitting on my porch listening to the chattering coming from inside the house. Thinking about school, I was worrying about a paper I needed to write within the next few days. How was I going to ever have time to sit and write a decent explanation about a topic I didn't understand? Stressing has always come easily to me.

While I mentally began outlining my essay, I didn't hear Sam step out onto the porch, and nearly jumped off my chair when I heard a deep voice ask me "Do you care if I sit out here?"

After glancing at him quickly, I nodded, saying "It doesn't matter to me." Inside, I was thinking _I guess having a few minutes to myself is more than I should hope for._ Oblivious to my thoughts, he slowly sunk onto a faded cushion covering the seat of a creaky wicker chair.

"I've seen you around, haven't I?" Sam's voice cut into my reflection. He said this with the tone of somebody who is politely uninterested but feels the need to break the silence. Incidentally, I despise small talk, particularly with people I don't know and have no interest in.

"Yeah, I guess. You're a junior, aren't you?" _Do I really look like the kind of girl who wants to talk to _you_? _He wasn't bad looking, and I didn't peg him as a truly annoying guy, but I wasn't in the mood to converse with a random boy I hardly knew.

"Yup." Awkward silence. He had been staring at me throughout our short interaction, but after his last comment he shifted his gaze to his feet and the worn wooden surface beneath them. _Am I making him uncomfortable?_

I was filled with the desperate desire to get away from my house (and Sam), so I stood up. "I think I'm going to walk around a little, so I'll see you later." I tried to sound as civil as possible while also conveying the message that I wanted to be alone.

His eyes met mine for a moment, questioning, but he must have understood. It was nothing personal; I just wanted to think on my own. "Okay, see you around," he responded.

I had to restrain myself from sprinting away; for some reason, I felt as though I needed to put as much distance between myself and the house as possible. Despite my irritation, I felt kind of curious about Sam. He certainly seemed like the type of boy who'd have somewhere else to be; it wasn't as though he was repulsive looking, quite the opposite, and he was generally liked by the other teenagers in La Push. Did he really choose to go to a gathering of his parents' friends over hanging out with his own group? Why did I even care?! I hurried away, headed towards the beach. Maybe walking along the ocean would calm me down; maybe the waves could wash away the swirling phrases in my mind.

"Hey, wait!" a voice called from behind me. I stopped, startled, and turned. Sam? "Do you mind if I walk with you?"

I was too surprised to say no, but Sam took my lack of response as a sign of consent. _Weird, definitely weird. What does he want? What makes me think he wants something, just because he asked to walk with me? Is he not allowed to walk without me overanalyzing his potential motives? _I shook my head infinitesimally, hoping to rid myself of the questions running through my head.

"Sorry to intrude, I just don't think I can handle any more of that party," he said, breaking the quiet. He glimpsed the expression on my face, which was controlled apathy, before focusing forward.

"It's okay; I'm not really in a socializing mood either." My voice sounded dead, unintentionally suggesting that I wished he would go away too. Honestly, I was just feeling exhausted. Not stayed-up-too-late-last-night tired, but worn out in the way that I wanted a break from the normal routine of my life.

He seemed to pick up on my mood immediately, and even showed some concern. "Are you okay?" I couldn't decide if he asked only out of courtesy, or if part of him genuinely cared.

"Yeah, I don't really know what's wrong, I'm just feeling a little low now. It happens sometimes, not a big deal. What about you?" I felt strange talking about myself, so I shifted the topic to him. What was weird was that I actually found myself wondering about him, not just asking to return the question.

"I guess the same. And I'm a little bitter… My girlfriend just broke up with me yesterday," he said indifferently, betraying the emotion I saw on his face. He shot me an ironic sideways grin. "That sucked, but I don't really miss her, you know?" Pause. "You ever had a boyfriend?"

Embarrassment colored my face, much as I tried to keep from blushing. "I'm sorry. I don't really know what that's like, I've never had anyone before, but it sounds pretty bad." I wanted him to see that I felt sorry for him, but my words twisted and I ended up feeling stupid for trying to comfort him. _Why do I care what he thinks about me anyways?_

"Thanks. It's okay, though, I don't like her anymore or anything." He sounded self conscious, so I averted my eyes from his face. I'd never had a serious conversation like this with a boy before. I'd barely had much conversation with a boy at all, really, besides at school. Not that I was going to tell Sam that. I wonder if he could tell I felt slightly humiliated because of his next remark. "You don't have to be embarrassed that you've never had a boyfriend, Leah. How old are you, fourteen?" He meant to reassure me, but it felt condescending.

"I just turned fifteen, actually." I tried to summon as much confidence as I had, before realizing I was blowing the situation out of proportion. "I guess you're right, though, it's not like my life is ending now."

He smiled at me, seeing through my words. "Well, I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. You're smart, pretty, and good to talk to – it's just going to take the right guy notice that. I should probably get back, I'll talk to you later. Bye." He left with that last sentence hanging over me, not knowing the confusion it caused me. _Sam Uley – who would've thought? _I forced myself to focus, snapping out of my reverie. Still, I couldn't stop thinking about Sam all the way back to the house, and no matter how hard I tried I could not rid myself of the image of his sly grin.


	3. Chapter 2

**I got one review, and that made me really excited! It's kind of pathetic, actually, but shh, let me stay oblivious. If you are reading this right now (I mean, obviously you are, but you know what I mean) then please continue onto my story. And once you are finished, do me a favor and hit that little button at the bottom on the left and leave me a review! I want to know what you think... please... Anyways, I'll shut up. Here's the next chapter.**

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As Told By Leah

Chapter Two - Awakening

The next day at school, I shouldn't have been surprised not to see Sam. After all, it wasn't like I usually did. Even if (theoretically, of course, because it wouldn't happen) I did actually see him, then we wouldn't talk. No, we wouldn't talk, and he certainly wouldn't acknowledge the fact that I had ever spoken to him before. Sam is polite, but no respectable junior takes the time to be friendly with a pitiful freshman unless it is necessary. And I, of all the freshman girls that Sam could talk to, would not be the first on the list.

Once I established with myself firmly that I was putting too much thought into this, and that I was acting in the pathetic juvenile way that was the exact reason why freshmen are thought to be so immature, I stopped thinking about him. Just as suddenly as I became hyper-aware of Sam, I forgot about him entirely.

For the next few weeks, each school day was similar to the next. I'd wake up, throw on some clothes, attempt to look decent, fail miserably, and eventually give up. After walking to school I'd go to homeroom, where I would pretend to be interested in one of the conversations surrounding me. I'd go to class and hide in the back, answering questions when I was called on, but otherwise daydreaming about escaping. Recently, I'd begun to lose my will to care about many aspects of my life, school included. I wasn't a bad student, but I never felt the need to study or do more than get the work done; for me, that had always been all it took to get decent grades. Now, though, I was beginning to withdraw from my family and all but a couple close friends. Many hours of my time was spent alone in my room, either sleeping or lying in a half daze. A stupor had come and veiled my life, leaving what had always been clear to me slightly fuzzy around the edges. In a way, I lost my purpose, and I had barely even noticed.

"Leah?"

"Hmm?" I mumbled disinterestedly. _Does it look like I want to be bothered right now? _I was sitting at lunch, not eating, but focusing on the linoleum tiles on the floor. They ran in a diagonal pattern; puke green, coral pink, and grayish blue striped across the floor. My silky black hair draped around my face, hiding my expression. The strands just brushed against the table I was hunched over; I flicked them back behind my ears to look up at the person addressing me.

"Hey, Leah?" the voice said a little more loudly, just as I saw who it was coming from. Sam. _Sam Uley?! _He has always been tall, but standing there in front of me he looked like a giant. "Are you okay?" He sounded sincerely worried, but there was no way to tell for sure. _What makes him think he suddenly knows me? I haven't seen him for a few months! It's not like we were ever friends in the first place. _

"I'm fine. Why?" I answered him, irritated, but also gratified that somebody noticed finally that I was feeling lost.

"You look really sad," he said, sitting down in the chair he'd been standing behind. "I remember you seemed depressed when I talked to you at your parents' party. Seriously, is there something wrong?"

I was ready to snap at him, to act like a bitch and scare him away for good. But that was when I looked into his eyes and saw how caring he actually was. The deep color seemed to envelope me, pulling me into his gaze, and I felt not only that he was truly seeing me, but that he could see into me. It's a hard experience to describe, but it strongly impacted my opinion of Sam. "I don't know," I said, searching for the words to explain what was wrong with me. "Have you ever felt like you've lost your purpose, and you can't find a new one to replace it? Or just gave up on trying in life because it seemed pointless? Or decided that there was something missing, but couldn't imagine what it might be?!" I burst out, my voice shaking slightly.

His reaction to my exclamation appeared natural, almost instinctual. Sam slid his hand along the table to where mine were resting, covering them lightly with his own. The feeling of his warm fingers seemed to bring me back to full consciousness, and for a moment I sensed a flash of what I might be needing. "Yes, I have," he answered softly.

I blushed, then wanted to slap myself. _How could you let him get to you? How can you let him have this kind of power over you?!_ "Anyways, thanks for listening to me ramble," I said hurriedly to hide my moment of vulnerability. I turned my head away from him to avoid his stare; I didn't want him to be able to read my emotions.

"Leah," he said gently, and I turned unwillingly back to face him. "I'm not sure what exactly is going on with you, but I've been thinking a lot like that lately also. I wish I could help you." _I wish you could help me too. _"If you ever need anything, you can always come to me. I haven't seen you around, but if you need me I promise I'm not too hard to find." He lightly squeezed my hand, and then a second later he was gone.

I leaned back in my chair, exhaling. I hadn't noticed that I was holding my breath. For the first time in months, I finally felt fully alive. I just didn't want to accept the only explanation for how that happened.

Sam.


End file.
